A stressful challenge, a bad sign, cartoons & more

Newsletter #35

In This Issue:

• A Stressful Challenge 

• A Bad Sign

• New on the Website

• Top Cartoon in the Past Two Weeks

A Stressful Challenge

Claire was up to some new shenanigans this week.

Her "Property of Claire" plan had fizzled out (if you read the , you'll remember that she had tagged nearly everything in the house as "Property of Claire"). A couple days went by with no activity, so I asked her, "What's happening with this Property of Claire thing?"

"I had planned to take over the entire house," she said. "But then it seemed like too much work."

"Darnit," I thought. I would have LOVED if she took over the entire house and all the responsibilities that went with it. Too bad she bailed on that plan. 

But never fear: There is always a new plan. 

So there I was, relaxing on the couch last weekend, when suddenly a voice next to me said, "You have two minutes." 

I looked over to see a walkie talkie sitting on the end table. I picked up it. 

The Voice on the walkie talkie (which sounded a lot like Claire) spoke again. "There is a Rubik's Cube next to you. Use the instructions provided to solve it." 

I looked over. Indeed, there was a Rubik's Cube. And a set of instructions that was less than helpful.

I pushed the walkie talkie button. "These instructions make no sense!" I said.

In an exasperated tone, The Voice told me that "Rc" stood for "Right Clockwise," "Uc" stood for "Up Clockwise," and "cc" stood for "Counter Clockwise." My kids have watched YouTube videos on how to solve Rubik's Cubes, so they actually understand the process. But to me, these instructions made NO sense. 

I fumbled around in a panic, and in a flash the time was up. The Rubik's Cube was nowhere near being solved.

The walkie talkie fired up: "I am sending one of my people," The Voice said. 

A person arrived, who looked A LOT like Claire. This person did not say a word or look at me, she just quickly marched into the room, grabbed the Rubik's Cube, shook her head in disgust and marched out.

Moments later, this person marched in again, and, without looking at me, handed me the Rubik's Cube. This time it looked like this:   

The person disappeared, then The Voice came across the walkie talkie. 

"Solve it," The Voice commanded. 

"How?" I asked. 

"Use common sense," The Voice said. 

Then it added: "You have one minute."

Common sense is not my strong suit, but I studied the Rubik's Cube, trying to figure out how to solve it quickly. To my astonishment and delight, I got it! With a few seconds to spare... 

I report my progress to The Voice.

I decided to exit on a high note, so when The Person arrived to check my work, I said, "All future challenges need to be directed at Dad." 

Jack, who was sitting near me, didn't love this news. 

Claire told me later that her new plan is to teach me how to solve the Rubik's Cube. She claims it's easy once you memorize some steps. I confess I'm not that interested, but I guess I'll give it a try. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you never know when a walkie talkie will appear in this house, giving you ONE MINUTE to solve a super messed-up Rubik's Cube.  

I'll report back on my progress. If I can get to the point where I can solve a Rubik's Cube, so can you. Stay tuned. 

A Bad Sign

I've learned the hard way that if a teenager takes a random picture of you, that's a bad sign. 

Kate (age 14) did this to me a while ago. She just held up her phone and... click!

"Did you just take a picture of me?" I asked. 

"Yes," she said. 

"Why?"

"I just wanted a picture." 

"Hmm," I thought, "that's weird. Maybe she just wants a picture of her Mom, to look at when she needs a lift."

Yeah... no.

Moments later, she was intently focused on her phone--tapping, swiping, typing, doing I don't know what. And she was laughing. Hard.

Turns out she was in Snapchat, making stickers out of my face, then plastering those stickers all over the original image. Like this:

Unfortunately, this has now turned into one of her favorite pastimes. 

And over time, she's amassed a whole collection of stickers. 

So if you spend any time around teens, and they suddenly make a move to snap a picture of you, cover your face. Run. Drop into the fetal position. Whatever you need to do.

If you don't protect yourself, you may end up like me. And friend, that ain't pretty. 

New on the Website

Quick note: My cartoons are now categorized by week and month on my website. So if you want to view them that way, it's easy! 

Top Cartoons

My kids have been on spring break this week, so I haven't posted much. (As always, you can visit my website to catch up on anything you missed!)

This cartoon for Momtastic was the most popular over the past two weeks. The last panel is taken straight from my life -- that was Kate, when she was little, ordering me around the grocery store. Fun times. 

I haven't had a chance to really read through the comments on this post, but from what I saw when I glanced at them, they are FUNNY. People are sharing words that their kids have mispronounced. It's so darn cute. 

I Have a Patreon Page

Did you know? Hedger Humor cartoons are supported by YOU! Over on my Patreon page you can learn about pledging $1 or more per month and receiving different rewards, including behind-the-scenes videos! Thank you to all those who already support my work!

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