The secret to calmer driving, goodbye microwave, things you might enjoy
January 30, 2022
In This Issue:
Staying Calm on the Road
Things You Might Enjoy
Goodbye, Microwave
In Case You Missed It
Staying Calm on the Road
Like many people, I get intensely annoyed at other drivers. It used to bother me when people drove too slowly, but now, in my advancing age, I'm becoming one of those slow drivers (sorry!). So what irritates me these days is when people speed around, follow me really closely, or otherwise drive in a reckless way.
My anger intensified once I started teaching Claire to drive. She drives carefully because she's new to the whole thing. But nearly every time we get on the road, someone zooms up right behind us or cuts her off.
It's infuriating, but I have to STAY CALM because I don't want to upset Claire.
"That person is following me really closely," she said a few weeks ago when we were driving around town.
"Then I shall kill them with my bare hands!" I thought to myself. But out loud I said, "Well, they're probably in a hurry."
This didn't seem to put her at ease, so I thought: "It's time to inject some humor."
Then I said:
Claire rolled her eyes. I pressed on.
"He's freaking out because he has to get home FAST in order to flip that sandwich. He doesn't want it to burn!"
Then I decided to dial up the suspense even more. "He used the LAST PIECE OF CHEESE!" I exclaimed. "This sandwich is a one-shot deal!"
As I spun this tale, I could picture it happening.
The man who'd been following so closely finally pulled into the other lane and zoomed by us. But instead of being mad, I found myself chuckling. "I hope he gets home in time to save that sandwich," I said.
"Me too," said Claire, joining in the joke.
Since then, we've applied this story to every driver who appears to be in a rush. If someone is driving recklessly, we will say, "Grilled cheese emergency!"
We also started calling people "grilled cheesers." As in: "There's a grilled cheeser behind us." Or: "What the heck is that grilled cheeser doing?"
It even became a verb. When Claire was following someone too closely I told her, "Don't grilled cheese that person!"
As amusing as it is to imagine that someone is desperately racing home to rescue a sandwich, it's even funnier if you encounter several people. "I never realized how many people have grilled cheese emergencies!" I remarked one night when we saw several speedy drivers.
I like to imagine these speedy drivers pulling up next to each other at a light. They roll down their windows, and one shouts, "You leave a grilled cheese cooking at home?" And the other one says, "Yeah! You too?!"
It's absurd, but it works to calm me down, and maybe it will work for you too. I do like the idea of a lot of us driving around thinking "grilled cheese emergency" whenever we encounter annoying drivers. There's a solidarity in that. It's like we're all part of this secret world where people are rushing home to keep their sandwiches from burning.
But what if you're someone who gets really annoyed at slow drivers? Well, maybe that person is driving slowly because they're deep in a make-believe world!
Things You Might Enjoy
Speaking of calming down, I love this animation by cartoonist Nathan Pyle. It's called "68 seconds of deep breaths" and you follow the animation to slowly inhale and exhale.
Another thing you might like: This book about time management.
I loved it. Reviewers call it "compassionate, funny and wise." And they say, "His writing will challenge you to rethink many of your beliefs about getting things done—and you'll be wiser becasue of it."
I agree with all of this!
The book has won some awards, and I noticed that hardcopies are temporarily sold out on Amazon and Barnes & Noble (though that might have changed by the time you read this). But you can get the Kindle version, or look on IndieBound, which connects you to independent bookstores in your area.
And finally, I suggest checking out Jarrett Lerner and his YouTube page.
Jarrett is an author and illustrator who posts really fun videos about how to draw things. It's a great activity for you, a family member, a kid, or everyone to do together!
If you're interested in drawing, definitely check it out.
Goodbye, Microwave
If you've been reading this newsletter for a while, you've seen stories and videos about my microwave. (Posted all in one place here.)
It is an overly complicated device that has no interest in reheating your food. In fact, to reheat food for 30 seconds, you have to slog through a bunch of confusing steps.
No, instead of reheating food, this microwave wants to do random things like pan-brown coconut, roast turnips, and give you hints about kitchen utensils.
But over time, I came to understand my microwave, and even appreciate its oddities. Of course, just when the microwave and I finally understood each other, life got in the way. Our kitchen remodel started, and it was time for the microwave to go.
So now, with a heavy heart, I say goodbye to this trailblazing device. Here's the video.
In Case You Missed It
Bowl Games
The Bowl Game is where I pull random words out of bowls, then create a story based on those words.
I've been posting stories every other Friday, and then doing some re-runs from the past as well. Here are the new stories since the last newsletter:
Boring Fruitcake Decorating a Sugar Cookie
Serene Bar of Soap Competing in a Scavenger Hunt
No-nonsense Cloud Dancing in the Rain
Hedger Corp Update
My employees have set an ambitious goal for 2022. Perhaps... too ambitious? The story starts here, and you'll find links to the next chapter at the bottom of each post.
Most Popular Cartoons
You can find my cartoons on Instagram, Facebook, and on my website. So follow along!
Here's a look at the most popular cartoons over the past month. First, this one that I did in collaboration with my friend Kim Bongiorno from Let Me Start By Saying. When she tweeted this, I could totally picture it as a cartoon. Thank you, Kim, for letting me illustrate it!
This tweet-turned-cartoon was also popular. Written by Charlotte Rosen, illustrated by me. I think we can all relate...
And finally, this cartoon about Wordle resonated, since so many people (including me) are playing this game every day. Are you playing too?
And that wraps it up for this issue! Thank you for reading! Join me next time when I unveil a weird invention and get your input...
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