Home Décor Gone Wrong, Fun Things & More

May 2023

In This Issue:

• My Home Décor Struggles

• A Couple Fun Things

• Cartoons!

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Quick note: I moved my email newsletter from Mailchimp to Substack, and I’m still learning how this works. It’s freaky to make a move like this! So if you see any weird formatting, I promise I’ll fix it next time! And with that, let’s dive in…

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Softball Bag Becomes Permanent Home Décor   

My daughter Claire was on the high school softball team, and her last game was on April 26. After that game, she plopped her softball bag down near the front door.

It hasn’t moved since.

“When do you think Claire will deal with that backpack,” I asked Jack.

Personally, I believe it will take longer. I predict that, at some point, we will realize Claire left food in the backpack. (I’m not certain she did, but… come on. We all know she did.) So eventually the smell of rotting fruit will mix with the odors of stinky cleats and sweat.

And no one will go near the backpack. Claire will decide to just quit softball altogether. We’ll refer to the bag as “home décor.” We’ll leave it alone for the next 1,000 years, until it completely decomposes.

That reminds me: We need to leave a note for the next homeowners.

In the meantime, I was thinking I could create a huge label and make it look like a floor candle?

We’ll call it a “unique statement piece.” It will make a memorable impression on all visitors.

After turning my attention away from the softball bag, I spotted something surprising in the dining room. Something that had been hiding in plain sight.

“Oh my gosh!” I exclaimed.

I stared at him, and he stared back at me.

A Christmas reindeer. Evidently, we missed him when we put the holiday decorations away MORE THAN FOUR MONTHS AGO.

I could tell he was judging me. For forgetting about him, yes, but also for the whole softball-candle thing.

“Christmas will be here again in seven months,” I told him. “You’re staying right where you are.”

So, to summarize: I like to feature stinky backpacks as décor and leave Christmas decorations up all year. I call my method “Don’t Want to Deal With It” decorating.

If you like this approach, call me for a free consultation. I’ll give you a great discount on a natural-odor-scented floor candle.

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A Couple Fun Things

I came across this cartoon posted by psychologist and TED speaker Susan David She’s on Instagram here. It’s four panels, and I’m showing each panel individually so you can read it better.

(The whole thing is great, but you know I love the “laugh” part in panel three.)

Speaking of getting unstuck, I liked these two images from the Instagram account called Liz and Mollie.

Good reminders. Especially the second one, because if you just focus on what’s right in front of you, it all feels way more doable than thinking about the big picture. And life really is just this current moment. Right here.

It’s a whole series of “right here, right now” moments, all strung together. And you can handle the right here, right now.

One more fun thing: If you saw last month’s issue, you know my friend Betje is crowdfunding a cartoon book called “5500 Miles of Comics.” I’m so excited for her! Here we are in 2016 when she lived in Los Angeles. She was showing me her sketchbook, which was full of drawings, stories and ideas. I don’t keep a journal like that, so I was fascinated by her process.

Her book covers topics like parenting, friendship, adjusting to change, dealing with setbacks, and finding joy in the small things.

There are only 18 days left in the campaign, so if you’re interested, check out the funding page and order your copy!

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Cartoons

Finally, here’s a montage of images showing you what happened this month in Hedger Humor land…

Of course, check my website for anything you missed.

One new thing: I’ve started posting short stories and there are two so far.

• Spider in the Car

• Guessing Games

If the comments are any indication, people are enjoying them! I’ve got several more planned, and I’ll be posting them about once per week.

I also created three new Bowl Game stories:

• Cuddly mug dressing up like a dinosaur

• Emotional corndog facing a dilemma

• Ambitious toddler trying to train a bird

As always, these stories are totally ridiculous. But that’s the point, right?

And speaking of ridiculous, if you’re a fan of Hedger Corp, this month we explored a burning question: Who’s more productive, Bob or a slug? Check it out on the Hedger Corp Instagram Page.

Let’s wrap up with the most popular cartoon this past month:

Fun fact: That was the first “It’s [month]” cartoon I posted. It went up on May 1st many years ago, and then I posted it again on the following May 1st. I did this for a few years until I thought, “Wait, maybe it would be funny if I made this cartoon for June, too.” So I did.

Then I made one for every single month that year. I figured it would be a one-year joke. But no, it’s still going. And somehow it keeps being funny?? I don’t know, it’s such a weird and accidental thing, but I love it.

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Thank you for reading!

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Your fortune: In exactly one week from now, you will feel a strong urge to buy a new area rug. A big one (9 x12 feet), featuring a crazy zig-zag pattern that induces vertigo if you stare at it too long. DON’T BUY IT. You don’t need this rug, no matter how much it feels like you do.